


Equanimity

by 1000trillionpercent



Category: Youtubers
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, First Time, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Happy Intersex Pride Day!, Intersex Character, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-13 12:18:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11184975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1000trillionpercent/pseuds/1000trillionpercent
Summary: “I… I don’t want you to be weirded out or anything.” Ethan mumbles nervously, “I don’t want it to change anything between us, yknow?”





	Equanimity

**Author's Note:**

> i started this on intersex pride day but it took a while to get to a completion

Ethan let out an uneasy sigh, shaking hands fluttering anxiously, reaching forward and grasping onto tanned skin as Mark tugged at Ethan’s belt. The younger male hesitated, struggled to find the proper words as his throat refused to allow him to speak properly. He swallowed, pushed his anxiety into the pit of his stomach and tried once again to properly articulate his thoughts. **  
**

 

“I… I don’t want you to be weirded out or anything.” Ethan mumbles nervously, “I don’t want it to change anything between us, yknow?”

 

Mark’s expression softened as he locked eyes with Ethan. “Oh...,” Mark's hands move, slipping under Ethan's shirt, thumbs rubbing soothing circles on Ethan’s hipbones. “Ethan, I care about you so much, and nothing could ever change that for me.”

 

Ethan nods, tries to calm himself back down, lower his nerves which hung tangibly in the air around them.

 

“You have no idea what you do to me, Ethan.” Mark groans, voice low, and Ethan feels himself melt just that little bit.

 

Mark's hands move back to Ethan’s belt, slow on their journey to allow Ethan some time to build back up his courage. It’s surprising how patient Mark’s being, or rather, it would be if Ethan wasn’t already well aware the air of arrogance and pride hid the biggest softie in the world. The clasp of Ethan’s belt is pulled open first, and Mark looks up to Ethan for the okay before he’s working the fabric around the button and pulling Ethan’s zipper down.

 

Nervousness and doubt are making their appearance in Ethan’s thought patterns now more than ever, and he’s considering bathing down the entire time Mark is pulling his burgundy jeans down his legs. Mark resumes his previous position, straddling one of Ethan's thighs, as his fingers toy with the elastic of the simple black boxers. Tanned hands move along the pale skin, pulling Ethan's shirt up just slightly as they explored the male's torso, pads of thumbs rubbing at hip bones and ribcages before both hands raise to cup Ethan's cheeks and pull him into a kiss.

 

“I love you.”

 

Mark knew exactly what to say when Ethan needed it.

 

Pads of slim fingers tease as the skin on Ethan’s waist before Mark’s seemingly gathered the courage to take the final step. Ethan feels like his lungs were sucked of all oxygen as the last piece of fabric, of protection, is pulled from him. He’s forced to bare all, to show Mark what so very few others have ever seen, and that anxiety comes right back the forefront of his focus. He’s silent as he lets Mark take in the visual. Ethan’s fingers balled into fists ad Mark set himself between Ethan's thighs, all curious eyes and exploring hands. There's a heavy, strong impulse to cover himself and beg Mark to leave, beg him to pretend this didn't happen, though something within Ethan prevents him from doing so.

 

“God,” Mark gasps softly, Ethan feels himself stiffen, feels himself go tight with tension. The younger male feels heat growing in his entire body, his chest tightens, and he’s on the verge of panic. “God, Ethan…” Mark looks up, “This is what you were scared to show me?”

 

Ethan shifts uncomfortably and avoids Mark’s eye contact, instead focusing on the hand holding one thigh out, keeping his legs open. “You’re not… weirded out?”

 

The older male chuckles, looking back down and pressing a kiss to Ethan’s inner thigh. “Not at all. You’re beautiful, Ethan.” The younger makes a soft, breathy noise as Mark continues to kiss along his inner thighs. Ethan’s whole body grows hot, anxiety and tension slowly unwinding him into a mix of warm embarrassment and arousal. Mark’s hand goes for Ethan’s dick first, Ethan expected as much, always best for one to work with what they already know.

 

“Does everything have… Feeling?” Mark questioned, pulling his and hand back for just a moment to lick his palm before he’s grasping Ethan’s length and pumping slowly.

 

“Some things are more sensitive than others but they both have feeling, yeah,” Ethan answered softly.

 

Mark nodded, pad of his thumb gently massaging the head of Ethan's cock, giving that oh-so-smug smirk when Ethan finally lets out his first moan at the sensation. “Can you cum from both?”

 

Ethan shakes his head, single hand raised to comb through Mark’s hair, a sort of means of grounding himself during this stressful ‘Before’ period. “I can get orgasms from either, but I don’t, like, produce semen.”

 

The older male nods once more, fingers trailing down the shaft and hesitantly dipping between the lips of Ethan’s cunt. His touch is feather light as he strokes up and down the soft, slick flesh. Curious fingers make their way back up, softly rubbing at the small nub of Ethan’s clit sat snugly against the shaft of his cock. Ethan’s response is immediate, loud gasp leaving him as his hand wraps around Mark’s wrist, nails digging into the flesh as his hips twitch, recoiling from the sudden sensation.

 

It takes a minute before he’s able to take a slow inhale, swallowing his own spit before speaking up, “Sorry, extremely, extremely sensitive. Should have said that sooner. I’d prefer that to stay a no-touch zone.”

 

Mark nods immediately, his face a portrait of innocence and wonder. He whispers an apology and Ethan lets go, hand moving to ball in the fabric of the bed sheets instead. Ethan tries not to focus on the deep nail-shaped dents now adorning Mark’s outer wrist. Mark doesn’t seem to pay them any mind at all, which is sort of a blessing. Mark goes back to his exploration, pads of calloused fingers slipping between warm, slick flesh, pressing softly to Ethan’s entrance, just enough that Ethan’s body instinctively reacts to arch into the touch, before Mark’s moving back up again, pausing seconds before Ethan's slit, and moving back down.

 

A long, relaxed sigh leaves Ethan as pleasure and warmth tingles at his core. Marks teasing builds him up, slowly but surely, and whispers of swears leave Ethan’s lips between moans through grit teeth and slow, calming exhales. A thought crosses his mind suddenly, and he's pulling the draws to his bed-side table open and blindly sifting through its contents until he feels plastic. Ethan pulls the bottle of lube out and sets it upright on his stomach. Mark looks between the object and Ethan.

 

“You need this?”

 

Ethan shrugs, “Sometimes there’s a problem with maintaining wetness”

 

Mark nods as if to say that makes perfect sense, yet somehow he’d never considered that a possibility. He plucks the bottle from where it was resting and looks over it, takes note of how there’s only about a third of it remaining. Were it any other situation, he’d probably tease Ethan, though now he’s careful not to damage the mood set between them as Ethan is already being so open about something that brings him unease and discomfort.

 

Mark uncaps the bottle hesitantly and slathers the substance on the index and middle finger of his other hand and carefully placing the cap back before tossing the bottle back onto the bed. Ethan gasps and hisses at the sudden coldness at Mark presses a finger to him, and Mark apologizes quietly as he slowly urged the finger deeper into Ethan.

 

It doesn’t take long before Ethan’s near begging Mark to speed on the process, hips twitching upwards in desperation from such minimal contact. Mark adds a second finger in due time, and slowly scissors and works Ethan open.

 

“Might be a weird time to ask but have you ever… Before?” The older questions, glancing up at Ethan.

 

“Been fucked?” Ethan supplies, and Mark nods, “No, I usually prefer anal. I’ve done things myself a lot, though.” Ethan lets out a long exhale as Mark’s fingers crook upwards, “I’m ready, Mark.”

 

Mark withdraws his fingers and sits up, and there it is again, the uneasy, shaky nervousness within Ethan. He watches Mark slick himself up, and tries his best to calm the feelings drowning him. Ethan jumps as he feels a hand on his thigh, a sharp gasp leaving him at the sudden shock of unexpected contact.

 

“Sorry,” Mark chuckles, thumb stroking back and forth on the outside of Ethan’s thigh. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

 

Ethan returns the laugh, though a lot less genuine coming from him, and lets out a slow exhale as Mark raises Ethan’s hips and settles in, silently lining himself up. Ethan bites hips lip as Mark slowly eases himself in, hands balling into fists as he adjusts to the stretch.

 

Mark’s hands are at Either side of Ethan’s face in an instant, tilting Ethan’s head up as he leans in for a kiss. Ethan returns the kiss with twice the enthusiasm, one shaking hand raising to tangle in Mark’s hair. Mark’s hips roll slowly against Ethan’s smaller frame, and Ethan breaks off the kiss, letting out sharp, brief exhales mixed in with the occasional quiet hiss as his body catches up to Mark’s momentum.

 

Mark strokes Ethan’s cheek with a thumb as his other hand blindly seeks out Ethan's, releasing it from its grip on cotton fabric and lacing their fingers together. Ethan’s grip on Mark’s hand squeezes, knuckles turning white, as Mark picks up his speed, soft gasps from the younger male turning groans leaving kiss-bruised lips as Ethan's half-lidded eyes closed and his eyebrows knit together.  

 

Mark’s being considerably gentle, but Ethan still feels as though his whole body is rocked with each thrust. Warm, tingling pleasure rocks through his body, creeping slowly up his spine and burning his thighs as if it were fire. The older male leans forward, lips trailing the delicate pale skin of Ethan’s neck, ravishing the noises the younger man makes and the combination of sensations.

 

It’s not long before Mark’s rhythm is uneven, erratic, and he’s openly moaning, cheek pressed to Ethan’s chin, as he picks his pace up. Ethan’s whispering encouragement, squeezing Mark’s hand and using his grip on the other’s hair to pull him into a kiss. Mark continues his motions through his high, and can barely see through hazy vision and dazed mental processing the way Ethan's back raises to a delicate arch as he reaches his peak, mouth hung open, eyes shut tight, however still a portrait of utter bliss. He comes down with a shaky sigh, gently letting loose his death grip on Mark's hair and significantly loosening his grip on Mark’s hand.

 

Mark sits up, remaining inside Ethan, as he moves his free hand down and gently grips Ethan’s cock. Ethan’s hips twitch, a pathetic mix of a whimper and groan leaving the smaller male. Ethan throws an arm over his eyes and bites down on already swollen lips as Mark strokes him. He can feel his face heating up as he’s incapable of holding in his noises, and despite willing himself still, he’s all but straight fucking Mark’s hand. Mark squeezes the hand that's laced with Ethan’s, and lazily rolls his hips along with his strokes. The mix of sensations is enough to drive Ethan off the edge once again, and he’s rocking his hips desperately against Mark’s grip and letting out an almost-hoarse moan as climax wracked his body again.

 

As he comes down, and Mark pulls out, he feels himself nearly shaking from over sensation of pleasure as it buzzes through every inch of his body.

 

“God,” Mark whispers, pulling Ethan's hand up to place a kiss on the younger male’s knuckles. “That was perfect.”

 

Ethan hums in agreement and content, a lazy smirk playing on his lips.

 

“I love you. Thank you for letting me do this”

 

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> i was so anxious to ever post this LOL


End file.
